What was she wearing? Why was she walking down that street? How much did she have to drink? How hard did she try to stop him? She knew the risks…so why did she do it anyways? Victim blaming is the core of rape culture, and as it’s National Women’s Month, I believe it’s time to dispel the myths behind sexual harassment, and keep focus on who deserves the blame. 

        Questioning a victim on details regarding a sex crime in order to discredit the afflicted, whether the crime is rape, sexual assault or even revenge porn, reinforces the societal concept that women need to learn to be cautious rather than teach predators basic human decency. The universal response to harassment is to control the lives of potential victims through dress codes, rules and oppression. Well that’s B.S., and I, for one, am over it.

        Women should be able to wear what they want without being afraid to walk down the street alone, and just because somebody sends a photo to a trusted one does not grant consent for its distribution to others. Our body is our own, and who touches it or who sees it should be decided by no other than ourselves. 

        Excusing defilement by questioning the actions of those who have been attacked discourages women from speaking up. Not only will approximately 99 percent of rapists not be held accountable for their crimes, but sexual assault survivors will have to face enablers blaming them for actions that in no way warrant abuse. In the same way, acting “flirtatiously” is not an invitation for non-consensual sexual advancements, nor is it somehow the girl’s fault. 

        Ultimately, our whole lives women have been told to not be dramatic, that boys will be boys and that we should consider how our accusations, although true, should not be made simply because they could ruin his life, because after all, he is “just a kid”. 

        But how about us? How many girls are touched inappropriately, raped, have photos leaked without consent or are told to change because our shoulders are distractions to perverts before the time we even graduate high school? Does anybody consider how our lives are ruined by the trauma? How we were just kids?

         Of course, not only are women threatened by these stereotypes, but most men are left feeling insulted by the lack of faith humanity has in their self-control. Making premature assumptions about the nature of boys is not only unfair, but demeaning to the greater majority of those with good intentions. Generalizing all men as predators with a lack of restraint is yet another issue caused by those who victim blame. So, the next time someone tells a girl they should’ve expected predators due to the length of their skirt or the amount of alcohol in their system, maybe society should ask instead why the expectations for men are so damn low.