Imagine this: your oven turns on for absolutely no reason. You might cock your head and chuckle before reaching to turn it off. But the oven is defiant. It has locked itself shut and refuses to turn off. 

That’s what happened on Oct. 28 to my mom. (Coincidentally, it was my birthday.) The best kick-off to the holiday season: a possessed oven with a death wish. My mom was able to turn off the breakers and cut this demon oven’s power supply, but the door was still firmly locked. 

We did what any other sensible person would do. We cut our losses and tried to unscrew the door. One thing led to another, and a hinge broke, permanently incapacitating it.

It turns out oven doors aren’t that difficult to tear off if you have the help of your mom and her fiancé. One point for Stella, zero points for Possessed Oven. We also had new storage space, so who knows how that could’ve helped the house’s resale value. 

We tried to remove the cursed object, but the thick black cables that went out the back of the oven and into the wall were… deterring… to say the least. So we put the oven door on the porch and left the demon oven to rot in its cave. 

Of course, this seemed like the ultimate solution until we checked a calendar. Thanksgiving was coming up, and I’m told that ovens are useful for that type of thing. My mom embarked on her journey to purchase a new oven and have it installed (all before the 26th of November). 

First, they told us that the oven would be delivered by Friday the 13th, a day that is known for its luck and prosperity. But since we have such great luck with ovens, the appointment was rescheduled for the following Monday. And then Tuesday. Luckily, the oven was successfully installed and seems to be working properly. 

Part of me wishes that the oven didn’t come until the end of the month, after Thanksgiving. I know we could use the grill, but I’ve always wanted to microwave a turkey.