Problems like weird parking lots or cold classrooms have plagued Tualatin High School for years and years, but this year’s latest mishap is one of mystery. Yes, the closure of the women’s upstairs bathroom by the senior hall is baffling to both staff and students. Who caused the closure? What sort of “vandalism” happened in there? How can we blame the freshmen for it? The following explores the disturbing story of the upstairs bathroom.

Now, we here at The Wolf are dedicated to bringing the true story to light, so an in-depth investigation of the defunct bathroom has been done to ensure the students of TuHS know the truth. The official cause stated on the locked door reads, “Closed due to vandalism.” However, what sort of vandalism causes a bathroom to be closed for weeks? Mere graffiti doesn’t take much to clean, so that rules out an overzealous artist. To egg a stall or do something atrocious with toilet paper also is quick to clean. Some people believe that a student stole something vital to the bathroom– a soap dispenser, stall door, some even suspect a toilet — due to the ‘devious licks’ trend on TikTok.

This theory is the most prevalent and the most likely. After all, getting a replacement for whatever was stolen could take awhile, especially due to current shipping troubles. If one of the toilets was indeed stolen, then that could be the reason for such a delay in reopening. Some find it unlikely that high schoolers could steal an entire toilet, but the internet has provided proof upon proof that teens are menaces to society.

Still, we have not found the true reason for the closure. Until then, students shall suffer through a missing bathroom and a missing cause.