Student: Your screen isn’t sharing. 

Teacher: I have no idea why this isn’t working. The computer must have COVID.

——

Student 1: Where do you recommend to get a spray tan? It’s for a fantasy punishment.

Student 2: Tan Republic. 

Teacher: Guys stop it.

——

Teacher: Okay guys, only two weeks of distance learning and we’re golden.

Student 1: That’s what they said last time.

Student 2: Don’t worry, if it gets to that point then I’ll intervene.

Teacher: If you can’t turn in missing work, I doubt you could “intervene.”

——

Student 1: Every phone charger I own, I found at (and probably stole from) school.

Student 2: Why?

Student 1: To feel something.

——

Teacher: Great to see a couple of your faces.

Teacher: Love it if more of your cameras are on.

(Student turns off camera)

Teacher: Don’t love that.

——

Student 1: Wow, that was a really good speech, you seemed really passionate.

Student 2: Thanks, I just spoke from the heart.

Student 1: Did you do a lot of research? You talked about a lot of things.

Student 2: Nah, I just have the wiki tab open.