Buckle up, Timberwolves. It’s finals season! Although the Omicron variant is consuming all of us, nothing matters more than submitting to the man-made concept of quantitative measurement of our academic abilities. I have only gone through two finals seasons as a senior, but that’s still more than the rest of you, so let’s dive right in.

1. This guy Roger must be making millions every year off of anxious students constantly using his website – RogerHub Final Grade Calculator – every time their teachers input assignments. RogerHub Final Grade Calculator lets you see what final test grade you need to reach your desired grade. This website is the quickest way to trigger my fight-or-flight response, launching me into the deep ends of eating chocolate and binge-watching Arrested Development to procrastinate, or making me feel so proud of myself I also eat chocolate and binge watch Arrested Development to procrastinate.
2. Remember the Nike motto: just do it – when it’s 10 p.m. and your brain is fried and you are feeling a little lightheaded, you may face the question of, “Do I go to sleep now and do my homework tomorrow, or should I push through tonight with a fatigued body?” A serial under-sleeper, somehow I never get enough, even when I do choose to do the former – and neither will you, so you best just get your assignment done that night. You’ll face that same question the next day if you delay anyways. Throwback to pulling an all-nighter for IB History 1 and the next day falling asleep for 16 hours – I guess this is what high school is all about. 
3. Lastly, this never used, not-so-secret secret is to TALK TO YOUR TEACHERS, which has saved me on too many occasions. Sometimes all it takes is a good sobbing in their office about how you don’t understand the material at all and are really struggling and you don’t know what to do – to make them so uncomfortable they HAVE to give you an A. Guilt trip all the way, girlboss, because there’s a pandemic outside and mental health is nonexistent. 

Best of luck to you all this season because we sure will need it. Now, let me get back to the 35 assignments I have to get done before Friday.