It is important to have friends in life; it is human nature to seek out companionship with people. And while it can just be easy to become friends with the first people that you talk to, it’s worth it to actually search and try to find people that make you better. They should care about you, and they should make it obvious that they care about you.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s heard the saying “Surround yourself with good, positive people.” Even though it may be cliché, it is true. The people you willingly choose to spend your time with should be people that encourage and support you; they should make you laugh when you’re happy and comfort you when you’re sad. Spending time with a friend should make your day better. You should leave them feeling happy and content; they should not bring down your mood, and it should not tire you to spend time with them. Once again, if you are willingly choosing to spend time with someone, to be involved in their life, it should be someone who complements your personality and makes you feel good about yourself.

I’ve met many people who have not made me feel good about myself. They only talked about themselves and only cared about what was going on with them; this created a one-sided friendship that was a burden to me. And while I’m not saying you should cut ties and burn bridges with these kinds of people, make sure that you have plenty of friends that make you feel good about yourself.

However, this mindset of expecting everyone else to make sure that they are good friends to you can lead to other problems in a friendship. Many people, including myself, seem to forget that any relationship is a two-way street; one person cannot be putting in all the effort. This means that you also have to care for the other person, make them feel good and do what you can to make sure that they are happy and content with your friendship. They should be able to expect from you what you expect from them: support and love. You cannot, as I have done, get upset when they don’t reach out to you, or expect them to initiate things with you every time. It is your job to reach out and ask to do things with them, as well.

In order for a friendship to work, there needs to be effort and investment from both sides. Friendships are not easy, and that is something I wish I had realized earlier. It takes effort and intent from both sides to make a successful friendship that can last a lifetime if done right. And while, after graduation, we go our separate ways, some of us will have formed friendships that can survive distance. Friendships are a crucial part of the high school experience, and it is important to learn early that they take time and effort in order for them to be beneficial to both sides.