Feb. 14. Heart Day. Singles Discrimination Day. Whether you’re spending a fortune on flowers and chocolate that’ll be gone in a week or wallowing in self-pity listening to Lana Del Rey on the ground in your dark dungeon of a room, Valentine’s Day is coming up very quickly. As a staff, we have provided a lovely spread of activities for you:

Start the day off treating yourself to some of the blinding pink and red candies at any nearby store. Some of our personal favorites include the inescapable candy hearts made of chalk, heart-shaped Reese’s, and—as a bonus—the perfection that is the heart-shaped container of chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A. Treat yourself this holiday. You deserve it! 

While you’re on your snack run, might as well add in some pretty overpriced flowers:  To you, Love you. 

After your snacks are in order, try to enjoy your freedom from commitment while it lasts. Some ideas could include hanging out with friends, getting the girlies together for a brunch or a charcuterie night! 

But, if everyone is too busy enjoying their situationships, sitting in a good old puddle of despair fills the time. Brent Faiyaz and Taylor Swift provide wonderful companions in heartbreak. So lean on a pair of headphones to get you through the day. Fortunately, it’s only 24 hours that this wretched day must be endured. Hang in there. Busy your thoughts with hoping and praying that David Jones comes to serenade you via Valograms, or consider funny ways you could go undercover to interrupt your friend’s date night. And you can always keep it simple, crying to your favorite rom-com (view Gracie’s story for recommendations). 

We hope this helped all you lonely folks this year, and remember, at least you’re not  apologizing for accidentally falling asleep.