Grief. Defined by the Oxford Dictionary, it’s deep sorrow usually caused by death. It’s definable to some, indescribable to others and felt by all. It’s a universal yet deeply personal experience. Grief touches everyone, yet there are no two people who experience it the same way.
When it derives from the loss of someone you love, the world feels clouded. It leaves you lost in a fog of emptiness and pain. How do you find hope, or even love, in the midst of such intense sorrow? This is not a story of solutions but searching for light when the loss makes everything fall dark.
High school is a place of discovery for friendships, passions and dreams, but that doesn’t diminish the moments of heartbreak and loss. Whether it’s losing a loved one, a friendship or sometimes yourself, grief in all forms has this way of teaching us lessons we did not ask for. It’s the heaviest burden, but from another light, it can lead to new connections and love. Allow yourself to heal and grow; there’s no process or time frame to follow, but finding happiness and support can begin your healing.
For me, I find my strength in my family. My mom and grandpa have shown their strength through how they’ve carried forward after losing my grandmother — by revisiting old memories, traveling to places that remind them of her and just finding new ways to celebrate life and family while holding her close in their hearts.
And for an anonymous senior, love in grief are found intertwined.
“Not to sound dim, but I feel like it’s almost harder to get connected to someone and fully love someone if the grief is already being formed and connected. With grief comes such a big toll on love,” they said.
Grief fully reshapes the way we perceive love. When someone we care about is gone, that void created may feel unconquerable. But in that void, we can find a deeper appreciation for the connections we still have in our lives. We begin to hug tighter and longer, wait an extra few seconds on the phone, never go to sleep upset and take on each day with a better mindset.
“It’s been so hard for me to feel normal and feel okay because my grief is always weighing down on me. But even on our trip, my aunt said, ‘He wouldn’t want us to be sad.’ So I feel a little more peace knowing he’s in a better place and not in pain anymore,” they added.
Realize that love within grief is quiet but holds so much power. Love in grief isn’t always about finding new connections; sometimes, it’s about rediscovering the value of the ones we already have.
“Take it minute by minute. Reach out to those close to you. Those people are going to really help you grow. My advice: go to a therapist. I didn’t want to go at first, but when I started getting into it, it became so good for me. It has made me realize so much about myself and helped me grow so much,” they said.
Grief teaches us that it’s okay to not be okay, extracurriculars and an overload of expectations to move forward no matter what. But grief doesn’t work on a schedule, and there is no one right way to process it. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to grief, and that is okay. Hope doesn’t always come easily, and that can be the hardest part; sometimes it can be found in the smallest moments you experience. be okay. High school can make it feel impossible at times. We’re surrounded by peers, grades, extracurriculars and an overload of expectations to move forward no matter what. But grief doesn’t work on a schedule, and there is no one right way to process it. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to grief, and that is okay. Hope doesn’t always come easily, and that can be the hardest part; sometimes it can be found in the smallest moments you experience.
Finding love in grief means letting yourself feel everything: the pain, the anger, the sadness and, eventually, the joyfulness. Understand that grief and love are two sides of the same coin. To everyone in every situation: remember that it’s okay to reach for hope. It’s okay to seek love, whether that’s through your friends, family or the memories of the person you’ve lost. Grief doesn’t have to be the end of love; sometimes, it’s honestly where love grows the most. We grieve deeply because we love deeply.
