I’m proud to say that I am not someone who gets much attention from boys. Personally, I’d like to keep it that way. But Winter Formal came, and my friend and I decided to use the night to live out our trad goth fantasies. Not even five minutes into the dance, we were catcalled by a group of boys begging for a threesome.

Other than the obvious, the worst part was that I felt the most confident I ever had when I was dressed like that, and all it took was a handful of other students acting disgusting to remind me that I was always going to be perceived in not-so-pleasant ways. Thankfully, my friend and I ran into some girls in the bathroom and loudly complimented each other for maybe a minute straight. (If you’re reading this, bathroom girls, I love you.)

Unsurprisingly, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. From being gawked at in the hallway to being stalked at conventions, people like me who favor the strange have endless stories about “normies” not acting very normal towards them. And let’s not forget the horrendous and unwanted attention that people have attracted online — are we really still asking for wrist checks in 2025? Grow up!

So why is it that everything alternative is shamed and almost feared? If anything, we should fear people who shun self-expression. It’s true that people are entitled to their own opinions, even if that means hating the way someone else dresses, but that doesn’t mean they have the right to harass others because they can’t agree with them.

Frankly, the whole point of dressing alternative is to be weird. It’s normal to be startled by what you see. It’s normal to even feel a little creeped out – most of the time, that’s what they’re going for. But it’s not normal to make it everyone’s problem.

If you or someone you love is the kind of person who nevertheless feels the need to make it everyone’s problem, you’ll be pleased to know that there’s a simple solution: walk away. Scroll to the next video. There’s no external force manipulating you into interacting with them, watching their content all the way through or spewing hateful remarks. Believe it or not, you’re completely capable of being a decent human being and reacting normally to other people.

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