While the affection we feel for our siblings can be infinite, it’s only natural for a youngest sibling to imagine what it would feel like to be the oldest. Birth order between siblings can have an effect on their relationships and responsibilities children have in the family.
Being the oldest sibling has its pros. They are the oldest. They have the most freedom and can set the bar for their siblings to follow. But with all that freedom comes responsibility, as well. They are also often in charge of looking after their siblings, which means they might have to give up time with their friends for a quick babysitting session.
“I think the biggest thing about being the oldest child is that there are responsibilities,” TuHS parent Sean Lanz said. “Also, I think that being the oldest child means parents put more pressure on you.”
Lanz is the oldest of three children, with two younger brothers.
“I think there are advantages to being the oldest child,” he said. “You get all the new things, no hand-me-downs. And your younger siblings look up to you. I wouldn’t change it; I am glad I am the oldest kid.”
Next comes the middle child. Many think the middle child gets the short end of the stick because they are the forgotten child. They are often overshadowed by the oldest sibling, who impresses their parents the most. The youngest sibling needs the most care and often steals all the attention, so the middle child can be left with none.
“It has sometimes felt that the older brother and younger brother required much of my parents’ attention, and sometimes I got the ‘leftovers,’” Jonathan Lanz, the second-oldest child, said.
One advantage to being the middle child is that they get the experience of having both an older sibling and a younger sibling.
“I have an older brother to look up to and protect me, and a little brother that I can protect and hope looks up to me,” he said.
And finally, the youngest sibling: They are the baby, the last to leave the nest. Many think the youngest sibling is coddled and grabs most of the attention their parents have left. Often, the youngest sibling can get away with just about anything.
“I get away with the most,” Jordan Lanz, the youngest sibling, said. “I feel, out of the three of us, I am the golden child because my mom will always consider me the baby.”
But with that attention also comes the competition of having older siblings and living up to their reputation.
“I never feel the need to compete because, technically, I’m supposed to lose since I’m younger, but when I achieve something unique, it’s a fun feeling,” the youngest Lanz brother said.
So, while we all might be tempted to wish we were our siblings, we have to remember there are pros and cons to being the oldest, middle and youngest sibling. But no matter their birth order, children are often glad to have a sibling to keep them company through life’s ups and downs.
