No knowledge gained from any class throughout my high school career compares to what I have learned on my own: people are the ultimate tool of growth. Many view drama as something that should be avoided as much as possible, but humans need learning experiences to fix bad habits and accept that they aren’t perfect and are actually themselves.
Now let me be clear when I say that nobody ever wants drama. There does come a point during high school where dynamics in a relationship change. I used to see these changes as bleak and let it eat at me, and the avoidance of losing a friend naturally resulted in resentment or hard feelings. In an attempt to avoid the catastrophe, I developed the practice of becoming a people pleaser (which I do not recommend to anyone, ever).
I didn’t realize it at the time, but by developing this pattern, I was causing myself a lot more harm than by just being honest. This anxiety reflected onto my surrounding relationships because people were confused about my words not matching my actions and my actions not matching my words. Honesty is lowkey the best policy when it comes to actually wanting to keep relationships. Without honesty, the only thing that forms is resentment. Some may wonder why high school drama is the way it is, but that just stems from resentment. So, high school drama is bad, but it also gifts those who experience it a blissful learning opportunity, and that’s what makes it so crucial.
Without this supposedly catastrophic incident that consisted of people pleasing and avoiding conflict, I would still be the younger me. This moment was instrumental for my growth as a person. I’ve had to force myself to accept that moving on from friendships is for the better. High schoolers change so much as they age. It’s hard to say that the same person will end up in your love club every time you go on a great adventure, again. Although a relationship comes to a close, that doesn’t mean all is lost. These people are still valuable connections; they can be the designated college-catch-up person and can aid with reflecting on the nostalgia of the relationship with them, that is if both sides are mature and you are not just meant with a supercut. So grab your girls and go down to the tennis court and talk it out like yeah, yeah, because talking beef out with your friends is so much more rewarding than you would think.
If I could grant everyone the outlook that (not all but some) relationships are meant to be temporary, I would, but it takes the real-deal, in-person experience that makes this realization worth it. For me, this gained perspective has helped me view socializing on a smaller scale. Rather than being socially anxious and worrying about what to say or how to approach someone, none of that matters because it’s only a temporary encounter.
Something that comes from small social interactions can be networking. It’s a great skill to have when you graduate and will be really beneficial when touring and starting college the next season. Making the new habit of creating casual conversation with peers helped me find independence in social situations. Small interactions are also just fun to have, whether at parties, shows, concerts, your neighbors’ or just while running errands; people are almost always welcoming to random social exchanges beyond their traditional team.
With graduation season coming up, whether you’re a senior or not, I urge all of you to go to your friends and family and lift that weight off of your chest. Start the new habit of appreciating confrontation and how it can benefit your surrounding relationships. With the right people in your life, confrontation shouldn’t be an issue and should only make you feel more appreciative of the people in your life. Everything works out soooo good!