Well, the esteemed Tualatin High School Discount Drivers Ed Spectacular: Spring Edition (This Time it’s Personal) is once again preparing the next generation of citizens who don’t signal when exiting a roundabout. This means that for many high schoolers, their angry and emotionally repressed legal guardian isn’t the only person shaping their understanding of driving.

In the past, students had the person they depended on for financial support yell at them to drive over the sidewalk because “if the five-O doesn’t see it, it isn’t illegal.” Now, a student’s math teacher is the one silently and audibly judging their vehicular work (like we need more judgement from math teachers). SohCahToa can’t save them now.

In my entirely irrelevant opinion, it’s a good idea to learn empirical facts about driving from someone experienced in teaching factual information. It’s only been about two years since I received my driver’s license and sometimes I need to remind myself that the speed limit in residential areas is 65 miles per hour. I’m still an excellent driver.

Some people may argue that self-driving Ubers with the inability to annoyingly honk at their friends will soon make Driver’s Ed unnecessary in everyday life. I wholeheartedly disagree. How will the people of the future effectively be backseat drivers to robots if they have no idea how to drive? Telling the person (or inanimate object) in charge of driving that they should’ve run that yellow light is an essential part of American culture. I would hate for my children to grow up in an America that much different from the one that I thrived in.

Anyway, to everyone currently learning to drive, here’s some advice from an excellent driver (me, Alexis Isaac. I’m an amazing driver, even if technically only one of my eyes works). Above all, remember to stay humble, even after you’ve been driving for a while.