Menacing Mansion: Choose your own adventure

Claire Roach, Web Editor/Asst. Opinion Editor

It is a dark and stormy night. You are trudging through the pouring rain, and look up to see the full moon between a break in the dark, menacing clouds. Squinting ahead, you see two paths. 


To the right, you can only see a few feet in front, for the path quickly drops off. (1)

To the left, the road winds up a steep hill and on top is a rickety mansion, practically blowing over in the strong winds. (2)


(1) You step a little further to see the edge, but your overwhelming fear of heights takes control of your bladder.  Much too scared, wet and cold, you go home.


(2) You decide to brave the trek, so you start running through the downpour, and slip on a loose pebble. That is embarrassing. Once you get up and gather some composure, you continue to the house. Seeing that the front door is bolted shut, you have two options.


You can knock on the door and wait for someone to take pity on you. (3)

You see that the window is slamming open and shut, so it wouldn’t be too difficult to squeeze through. (4)


(3) After knocking on the door for what seems like hours, no one answers. It’s fine, you have a worm-charming competition later anyways. Discouraged and drenched, you go home.


(4) While you are shimmying through the window, your pants get caught on a nail in the frame. They rip off, revealing your “I Heart Niall Horan” underwear. Good thing no one is watching. During an awkward moment of tripping over the remains of your pants, you reach around to grasp anything to steady your balance.


You lean against the wall in hopes of dependable support. (5)

There is a human-size figure covered in a black cloth that you could possibly grab onto. (6)


(5) You lean against the wall, but you underestimated the distance between yourself and the wall. You crumple to the ground, just short of the wall, and hurt your elbow upon impact with the floor. The pain is too much, so you lay there while your mom comes to pick you up. (9)


(6) You manage to wrap an arm around the cloth, but your grip is too strong and pulls off the black cloth covering. Underneath is a lifesize wax figure of…you! You scream! Something in your piercing screech activates a switch in Wax-You. It comes to life.


After training for the Fitnessgram Pacer test all summer, you know that you can outrun Wax-You. (7)

Maybe they just want a hug, so you stand your ground and make intense, prolonged eye-contact. (8)


(7) You sprint out of the house, and it is a dark, stormy night. You end up at the bottom of a hill, where a rickety mansion was perched at the top. (2)


(8) You open your arms for an embrace, but Wax-You misses the message and continues at full speed, bringing you both to the ground. Right before they go in for a punch, the wax figure takes one look at your underwear and grimaces in disgust. They run away into the night, and you’re left alone in the mansion once more.