It was never something I could have really prepared for or expected with all things considered. My perceptions, mental capacity and efforts have been declining slowly, without me realizing, and it was very easy for me to look past. 

Recently, I had been thinking about how creative my siblings and I were as kids, and felt this heavy realization that it has been a very long time since then. I did think about many things that would happen in my future, but I never thought that I would just stop drawing and writing as much as I did. At some point, being creative and imaginative took too much time, and became less enjoyable, but I can’t remember when or how that change happened. 

“But someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” 

This is a quote by C.S. Lewis that I discovered a while back and haven’t stopped thinking about since. It is interesting to think about if I give my mind the time. At some point in my life, my priorities shifted, and I felt bad for wanting to use my imagination. I made myself think being imaginative or creative wouldn’t get me anywhere. Or I would tell myself that other people are already imaginative, so why do I have to be? 

Why is art and expressing yourself competitive in a way, as if it is rare to be expressive and creative? 

Why is this topic brushed aside anytime it is brought up? 

I ask this because I feel like there are no words coming out of my mouth when I think about this. For a long time, all I ever wanted to do was be a kid again, but when I think about what I actually miss, it is the mental freedom. There were no fears worrying me that what I was thinking or doing was a waste of time, like there is now. If anything, I want to expand my imagination to the imagination I had when I was a kid because somehow, over time, it got smaller. 

I would never have stopped drawing or writing if I saw the consequences of artificial intelligence, even in the small ways. I no longer want to ignore it; rather, I want to continue being what AI will never be, to do what it will never be able to do. 

All I wonder now is how significant this topic really is and how long it will continue to be.