Wolf staff rank Halloween candy from worst to first


Marcus Ludes photographed by Isabella Kneeshaw.

Marcus Ludes, Staff Writer

There are no guidelines for what can be given out to trick-or-treaters, who can expect anything from pumpkin-shaped candy to a toothbrush and floss, but I believe there are tiers of treats, some of which are better than others.

When I dig into my bucket, the first things I always look for are Almond Joys, candy corn and candy pumpkins. I pray not to find any, but if I do they go straight to the trash. These three candies make up my F tier, the absolute worst of all treats. Almond Joys are miles better than the latter two, which says a lot about all three candies. “Flavorless and unenjoyable” are the three best words to describe these criminally-horrible sweets.

The candies that I enjoy enough to eat if given, but I would never get in any other circumstance, are those of the C tier. Blow Pops top this tier because they’re just on the cusp of B tier, but the mediocre gum in the middle brings them back down to C. Right behind those are Hubba Bubba and Tootsie Rolls, two treats I find not good or bad but just “meh.” The bottom of the C tier is any sort of dental hygiene product, which only find their way above F because cavities suck.

B tier possesses the basic-yet-tasty, sweets. All generic milk chocolate candies, such as M&M’s or Hershey’s Kisses and Chocolate Bars, belong in this tier. I’d also place Whoppers, Gummy Bears and Dum Dums here. They’re great treats, but nothing about them is outstanding.

The A tier has some of the best sweets possible. Fruit Snacks, Starburst and Tootsie Pops are the best fruit-flavored treats. That’s why they’re rightfully here. Twix sits right in the middle of the A tier, being better than fruit-flavored treats, but not on par with peanut-flavored candies. Reese’s Pieces, Peanut M&M’s and Snickers are near the very top, all of which I’d grab by the handful if I’m told to “take one.”

Topping the rankings comes the best of the best: Milky Ways, Halloween Pretzels and – the king of all – Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins. All three of these are the ideal treat. Milky Ways are exceptional, with their distribution of nougat, caramel and chocolate. Halloween Pretzels are mini pretzels shaped like bats and Jack-o-Lanterns; Reese’s are the perfect combination of peanut butter and chocolate.

There will always be some treats that are better than others, and it’s very important to know which you like best when you’re given the “take one” offer.