The Student News Site of Tualatin High School

The Wolf

The Student News Site of Tualatin High School

The Wolf

The Student News Site of Tualatin High School

The Wolf

Polls

On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad has senioritis affected you?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
Karys Gates
Karys Gates
Fold Editor & Social Media

Senior Assassin: not for the faint of heart

Photo+by+Karys+Gates+
Photo by Karys Gates

Towards the end of every school year, seniors begin the highly-anticipated event that causes severe stress and anxiety among students as they fight viciously to stay in the game and eliminate their targets (with a water gun) before each deadline. It’s Senior Assassin time. Seniors must turn their Snapchat Map on for everyone and go about their daily lives as if their every move isn’t being analyzed by their attacker. 

Mysterious late night outings no longer go unnoticed during the remainder of the year, or at least while students survive in the game. While it is against the rules for participants to attack their target on school grounds or at their place of work or religious worship, it is crucial that seniors watch their back every time they leave their house or show up anywhere. Talk about anxiety inducing!

“Hopefully no one pulls a (water) gun at school,” senior Joey Mattecheck said. 

For real, though. Imagine having to miss graduation because you decided to break the rules and get your silly little target at school. Even worse, it would be so embarrassing to be detained in front of everyone you know. You wouldn’t be the one laughing anymore, that’s for sure. 

Good news! Players are completely safe from being attacked when wearing pool floaties! What a relief! If you want to ensure your safety, I would recommend that you wear pool floaties everywhere. Maybe keep a couple extra in your car, too. Better to be safe than sorry! You will bless the eyes of your neighbors when you cautiously maneuver towards your car with floaties around your waist for the next two months. Senior Assassin is not for the weak, that’s for sure. 

Junior Tristan Gore said he is “going to scout out strategies to use for next year!”

On another note, how exciting is it to have an excuse to stalk people?! If you signed up for Senior Assassin, you willingly paid $8 (or more if you signed up late) to reveal to everyone where you live and go about your daily lives in fear as you avoid being attacked with a water gun at all costs. In return, you now have a valid reason to drive past people’s houses you wouldn’t otherwise have a justifiable reason to. Sounds like a fair trade to me. 

Camping outside someone’s house for hours in a bush waiting until they finally decide to creep out sounds like such a fun way to spend a weekend! If for some reason your target has blocked you on Snapchat, you can always wait it out at Dave’s Hot Chicken. It is guaranteed your target will show up there at some point.



Leave a Comment
More to Discover
About the Contributor
Victoria Gillard
Victoria Gillard, Humor Editor & Social Media
Hi, my name is Victoria and this is my second year on The Wolf staff! I joined newspaper because I love to write and it is a great way to get involved with the school and meet new people.

Comments (0)

All The Wolf Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *