I’m sure any teacher of the modern age can remember their teenage years and the harsh deadlines and hours poured into their schoolwork. When stress creeps up on you, the encroaching time limits seem suffocating. Although most staff members remember these days of anxiety and pressure from uncaring educators, they seem to repeat the same mistakes that their predecessors made. Students who are losing sleep from the pressing issue of their schoolwork are given little to no sympathy. Adults love to use the excuse of building character, forming a diamond in the rough.
The problem lies in the lack of sympathy and support for these nerve-ridden students. Over the course of my four years of high school, I’ve heard countless times from countless teachers that the stress students feel is simply an introduction to “the real world.” “Welcome to the real world” is the only response given when a teenager voices their worries. This form of reassurance is highly unproductive and gives little credit to the work they are putting into not only their studies, but concerns of work and relationships.
A few students voiced their disdain for this response, one in particular relaying the point in their life in which they struggled deeply with illness within their family, only to be met by the dreaded “real world” spiel. Of course, there are times when a teen’s problems seem minuscule in comparison to the tediousness of paying rent and taxes and such. Looking back at your old self, though, can adults remember the emotions they harboured at one of the most stress-inducing parts of their life? Can you remember how frustrating it felt when one of the trusted adults in your own life told you to “suck it up” at times when you needed your vulnerability to be met with words of motivation and kindness?
Several students, when asked whether these dismissive terms aided their motivation, responded with the obvious: no. While realism may be necessary at some points, what a kid really needs is assistance. From what I’ve observed, what really causes people to flourish is being told that they can do what they set their mind to. I’ve seen students who seem to sink into themselves when told that they’re only being dramatic, or that they simply need to work harder than they already are. Things like “the real world” only tell students that their hard work isn’t sufficient and will eventually turn into “nothing I do will ever be enough,” as shown by several studies in psychology.
What is the real world anyway? Do the things that qualify as “real” only take place outside of a school environment? Then how will this prompt anything other than quitting?
What students really need is not a “realistic” approach that has been tossed down by generations as a means of putting down their hard work, but simple words of compassion in times when things are rough.
