Y/N rolled over with a groan, reaching out to silence their screaming alarm clock. They woke up painfully single, just like every Valentine’s Day, preparing to scroll through endless romantic posts from their friends’ partners. As their adorable figure sprawled out of their burrito blanket, a crash came from the closet. The doors burst open, and a pink-haired man emerged, bow gripped tightly in his hand.

“Hello, gorgeous!” he shouted, floating a few inches off the ground.

Y/N recoiled at his white boxer shorts covered in small red hearts and a singular knee-high sock bunched up around his ankle. Their attention was drawn behind him to the gaping hole in the back of their closet.

“Cupid?! Did you just break through my drywall?” they questioned.

Cupid swung his foot through the air, a smirk forming.

“What can I say? I aim for dramatics.”

“You missed,” Y/N remarked, crossing their arms. Cupid tilted his head in confusion, rosy locks falling into his eyes. Y/N sighed exasperatedly.

“Last month. You shot Mom’s Roomba instead of me. It fell in love with the vacuum!”

Cupid scratched his head, giving a humored smile. “Oh yeaaah, that.”

“Listen here, lover boy. I’m tired of waiting for your arrow.” Their dazzling blue orbs glared as they grabbed Cupid’s bow and snapped it over their knee. “I’d even settle for you at this point, inflamed ego and all.”

Cupid’s gaze sparkled with admiration. “Y/N…,” he whispered. “No one’s ever spoken to me with such confidence before… or supported my egotism….”

Pink glitter rained down from the ceiling as they kissed. They lived happily ever after, getting married for the tax benefits and adopting Y/N’s mother’s Roomba.