I sat on the couch scrolling through my phone when I was hit with a sudden thought: “Does anyone actually follow through with their New Year’s resolutions?” I asked. 

“Nope,” my brother said as he walked across the room. 

“I did once, it was terrible,” said someone from my family whom I didn’t recognize. They were probably one of my cousins or something. They were always over for the holidays, but I just could not remember their name for some reason. 

“I once set a goal to get healthy. I went to the gym for a month before I gave up.” 

“Okay…,” I responded, unsure what to say. “Anyone else?”

I sat in awkward silence with the rest of my family before I heard yelling from the kitchen. It was probably my parents arguing about some random thing. Actually, no, someone probably just burned something. Whatever. I was about to go back to scrolling on my phone when I heard a stereotypical-sounding old-man voice from the corner of the room slowly say, “I had a New Year’s resolution that I followed through with….”

“What was it?” I asked.

“….I don’t remember.”

Well, that was great.

“Is there seriously any point to making a New Year’s resolution if no one follows through with it?” I questioned seriously. 

“Hey, I said I followed through with my New Year’s Resolution,” said my grandpa again in his stereotypical old-man voice. Then he loudly said, “Young people don’t appreciate old traditions anymore. It’s terrible.”

Jeez, he didn’t even try to be quiet about it, I thought, and then he gets mad at us when we say something like that to him. Whatever.

“Okay, so we all agree that New Year’s resolutions are pointless, right?” I yelled loudly.

“Yep.”

“Yes.”

“…Yeah.” (In old man voice)

“Okay, great. Since no one wants to listen to Grandpa try to remember what New Year’s resolution he had, our resolution can be to move on and forget this conversation ever existed, right?” I asked.

Everyone agreed, and we moved on to a different topic.

The end.